Since my last post, we’ve been busy little Wurts. The day after Christmas, John and I drove to Cincinnati for a doctors appointment, down to Lexington to spend some time with John’s moms side of the family and back to Louisville before catching a plane at 6am the next day to spend about 10 days in West Palm with my family. It was a great, relaxing vacay but now we’re both back to work and IVF is in full swing.

On December 26, we had an ultrasound to get the final go-ahead for the January 3rd Gonal F start date and some blood work. I’ll try to throw in some “normal jargon” in here to keep your attention and not talk all IVF-ish. Our original plan was to take 225 IU a day of Gonal F (an injection) but once my blood work results came back and showed I have low AMH (it’s a hormone) levels, the doc decided to up my Gonal F to 300IU a day.

While we were in Florida, John gave me my first shot of Gonal F on January 3. (hooray!)  We even got to bring the syringes and loot on the plane with a doctors note. I felt pretty special until no one asked a single question about them, bummer.  This is definitely not my first rodeo with needles (no, not illegal drugs but past IUI’s and other glamorous infertility testing) but I was still pleasantly surprised when I hardly felt a thing. I’m definitely used to being poked and prodded these days which makes the needle-situation a lot easier. My stomach is slowly beginning to resemble a battlefield with all the injection bruises but lucky for me, I think wounds are a symbol of being tough which I’m learning more about everyday.

I was worried about Gonal F and the side effects but so far, I can say I’m just as crazy today as I was on January 2nd!  Mentally – I’m same ole me and have yet to turn into the roid raging maniac I was anticipating to become. However, I am still working on accepting the physical toll it’s taking on me. I knew it would be difficult but in all honesty, I didn’t really expect this. Yesterday I compared my intense cramping to pitch forks being on fire in my stomach and the hot flashes make me look like a fool when I’m sweating in -2 degree weather.

During all my research and reading, I never understood the whole keep going, don’t give up now quotes I kept seeing since quitting had never even entered my mind. Until now when I’ve had to give myself a couple pep talks about keeping my eye on the prize and knowing this pain will be nothing compared to the joy I’ll eventually feel when God blesses us with a baby.

All in all, we’re extremely thankful to be making progress on this journey but the next week and a half (and then forever after that) is when we’re putting our blinders up and taking it one minute at a time. It’s completely overwhelming to think about where we stand on this journey. The amount of stress and heartbreak we’ve already experienced and the path we have ahead of us (both short term and long term) is something I never imagined as part of my life’s journey. I never thought I’d be strong enough to endure the pain I’ve felt, but the past two years have been nothing short of constant surprises and learning lessons.

We had another appointment this morning for an ultrasound and some blood work to make sure everything is on track, which thankfully it is. We have some follicles that are looking nice and we’ll go back on Saturday to determine if the egg retrieval will be Tuesday or Wednesday. We’re keeping the same 300IU of Gonal F and I’ll add the Cetrotide on Friday night then Ovidrel about 36 hours before the retrieval.

I could not imagine hitting publish without saying how much I sincerely appreciate all the love and kind messages we’ve received. This is the toughest thing we’ve ever gone through (individually and together as a married couple) and knowing you support us makes even the worst times a little more bearable. There’s a fine line of being too public and keeping everything private, but I could never imagine suffering in silence and I’m so thankful for a platform that is a two way street so I don’t feel so alone. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.