I’ve been dreaming of sharing this news for over two years. We. Are. PREGNANT!!! We are over the moon, skip down the sidewalk, throw confetti type of excited. Baby Wurt is nothing less than Wurt the Wait, and as of now, we have a due date of October 8, 2015… 12 days before our third wedding anniversary.

I can’t help but admit that these feelings of knowing our dreams are coming true are pegged with the lingering thoughts of guilt and betrayal that have been created in our infertility journey. It’s been two very long years of endless tests, two failed IUIs, a hysteropingogram, hysteroscopy, polypectomy, samples, poking and proding, countless ultrasounds, over 30 at-home injections all wrapped in billions of tears and prayers. I’ve seen the darkest days of my life throughout the days of infertility. My marriage and friendships have been put through their own tests of strength. Through this journey, we’ve received more support and love than I ever imagined being on the receiving end of, and created unbreakable bonds with TTCsisters.

Which leads me to…infertility brings doubt to my mind that I had never experienced before. I never imagined that some of my very initial thoughts after hearing the words, “you’re pregnant!” would include the feelings of heartbreak that while I am able to see success in our first round of IVF/ICSI, there are so many of my friends that are still left with a baby shaped hole in their heart. It takes so much joy out of this knowing that I will contribute to someones anger, the same anger I felt just two months ago when I heard pregnancy announcements. It’s not fair, it’s just not fair that some of the most deserving people in the world are waiting for their turn to hear, “you’re pregnant!” I’m scared that some of my biggest cheerleaders, fellow TTC-ers, are going to feel like I’m abandoning them or that I won’t understand their pain anymore. I can assure you, the pain, lessons and joys felt and learned through infertility will never, ever be forgotten.

Infertility is a part of my life, a huge part, and always will be. It takes one heck of a woman (and man) to go through the struggles and I hope that everyone going through this knows that even with a BFP, I’m on the sidelines and will continue to be your biggest cheerleader. I’m a strong believer that being in the right mind set contributed to our outcome and I will always continue to pray for everyone on their IF journey.

So here we are, with strong beta results of 403 10dp5dt and then at 12dp5dt – 1214, we are soaking in the joys of early pregnancy but still aware of the long road ahead with many unknowns and doctors appointments full of tests. No matter where we go from here, my faith is in Him.