I’ve conjured up enough questions to create a few Q&A posts. However, this answer happened to run a little long so it’s on its own post. Feel free to keep sending me questions! 

Q: What about adoption? Is it on your radar? How long will you try? (I know that is a dumb question because the obvious answer is “until you get a baby” but is there a point when you will stop the fertility treatments?)

A: Adoption is beautiful. It used to be a very foreign thought that I never entertained until recently. My opinion never really went past it takes an incredible couple to be that selfless, accepting and nurturing to a baby they couldn’t conceive themselves. But God works in mysterious ways that has made me take a second look.

One morning, a few weeks ago as I was driving to work, my mom called to tell me this story about a couple adopting and becoming pregnant. I’ve never heard my mom talk about adoption before this and just like that, it got me thinking.  That same day, the small prayer group I joined had our first initial meeting… I couldn’t get past the number of adoptions that were happening with these women who have stories so similar to our own. That was hint #2 He put right in front of me. Later that evening, I was cruisin’ around Facebook and came across a post from a college friend of mine that announced they were adopting and how excited they were to be on the unexpected path God set up for them of waiting for the right baby to make their family of four complete.

To answer the question …Yes and no. Adoption is on our radar in terms of knowing it is an option. We will exhaust all options before proceeding with that but if that is the way God wants us to care for His child, then that is the way we will care for His child. How long will we try?  Until we have no more money, sperm or eggs to try with. ha, but not kidding.

Fertility treatments take a toll on everything. Everything. Physically, the medications, shots and procedures make my body feel like it belongs to a science experience. Mentally, how many times can a person actually get back up after they fall so many times? Financially, I wish I could smile and say “there’s no price on becoming a mother” but unfortunately, there’s a huge price tag.  Spiritually, thankfully this has been the strongest part. Of course I’ve questioned my faith, very briefly though, and now my faith is the best crutch I have. Emotionally, exhausting. I’ve felt every emotion in the book, gone through the five stages of grief, and had times I thought my heart would explode at the hope of having my dreams fulfilled.

There is simply no easy route here. Fertility treatments are exhausting as is the adoption process and coming to terms that we won’t conceive. There are no easy short cuts or simple decisions, no “yes” or “no” answers. We’ll keep our options, hearts and minds open and continue for pray for the baby that is waiting for us to be his/her parents.